There are lots of reasons why we fall in love. Some of them are cultural – we look for people who like what we like, people who have a similar intelligence level to us. But you could also walk into a room full of people who meet these criteria – and you won’t fall in love with all of them obviously. It’s about chemistry from that point.Well, it’s not just humans who fall in love. Animals do it, too. Animals will always choose a mate, even at the height of their fertility, when they should really just be mating with anyone! Animals become devoted, just like we do. We differ from animals because we show attachment – we’re monogamous (or, most of us are). We’re able to build long-term attachments.
And how does that work?
Principally, there are four personality types: builders, negotiators, explorers, and directors. Builders are very social, good at managing people, cautious and calm. Negotiators are intuitive, they see the big picture, and they’re imaginative, philanthropic and compassionate. Bill Clinton is a good example. Explorers are spont
aneous, creative, generous and curious – like Barack Obama. And directors are analytical, tough, direct and good at sciences. Explorers tend to partner with other explorers. Builders fall in love with other builders. Negotiators and directors are a good match.Cupid’s arrow at first sight?
We hear about this all the time, don’t we? So much of our popular culture and literature is about falling in love at first sight…but there’s also proof to suggest people really do fall in love at once. In a study, ten per cent of people said they fell in love the first time they met their partner. I think men are guiltier of this than women – they’re far more visual than we are.
Are men and women attracted to different things?
This is an appealing question, because answer often offends people! But the traits that we’re attracted to have a lot to do with evolution. Men will seek mates based on youth and vitality – because they’re going to be able to rear children. Women look for partners with resources, because they’re able to provide for them.
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