So while you’ve got your own set of cute pet lingos for the golden globes of your woman; please remember a few must do’s - don’ts that she might like to tell you, but baby, telling you what a nerd you are would hurt!
1. Before you even begin, erase the possibility of words like ‘droopy’, ‘saggy’, ‘limp’ from your dictionary.
2. Though we know what an amazingly tempting pair of boobs we have, you cannot list it as one of the reasons why you like us.
3. If you constantly keep sucking them like a baby, with just no move changes, we’d rather bring a bottle for you next time.
4. FYI – Boobs hurt big-time when we’re PMSing; so no points for guessing if we tell you to go slow and soft, or better just not touch them!
5. If we go up a cup size due to pregnancy or pills, it’s not as exciting as you think. Enough said; you fell in love with the girl and not the balloons.
6. Even when we tell you, we like it raw and rough; doesn’t mean you bite it hard. A little teething and tweaking can be a pleasure, the rest is pain...
7. The push-and-pull theory stands negative here. It’s flesh, not mechanics. Handle them with care. Try a nice massage instead. It works!
8. You can touch them and feel them; but please spare the inanimate object you’re trying to bring closer. It’s just not sexy. Rather we'd doubt if you really respect us?
9. Boobs and nipples are just not the same. ‘Erotica’ and ‘tips to arouse your female’, wouldn’t ever teach you the difference. What arouses us, you have to know.
10. “Do not touch them”, means the same in all languages. Hold your horses when asked to do so. It ain’t funny when it’s tickling and hurting at the same time.
11. The bigger, the better is not our motto; shouldn’t be yours too.
12. P.S. – Even after an hour of rigorous efforts, if the nipples aren’t hard; perhaps, what you’re doing isn’t working!!!
13. In addition to all, if you do not use precaution that we insisted on; they might be feeding your child in next 9 months.
Source: Pragti Gupta
Next 5 Articles:
