Thursday, January 7, 2010

Can you be friends with your ex?


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You had been with someone who was always very close to you, someone who was there for you always, even before you started dating him. You never really wanted to let go off him, but things never worked in your favor.

Now that you are apart, you feel that there’s an empty space, a vacuum and you know exactly the person who can fill that void in your life. But how do you get back to him? You know that you don’t want to get into a relationship with him, for it is never going to work out.

“Can we be friends again?”

Being friends after being in a relationship is something which is much more difficult than a break up. The fact about trying to forget everything about all the good times that you have had, physical or emotional is something that can be very challenging a task to be.

It is very important for both sides to be in consensus to take such a big step. One can never force the other to get into something like this by force. It is very important to understand the fact, not necessarily things will work out. You might just be prepared for it but he may not be or vice-a-versa.

One of the most desirable things after a failed relationship can be, if you and an ex can reach a place of peaceful co-existence and mutual respect.

Fine, for once lets just accept it, that you and your ex have been doing quite well “being friends”, now what if at some point you or your ex witness a new romance, one of you is bound to feel uncomfortable. If you decide that your current friendship with your ex would not be affected then a too close friendship with an ex will likely cause problems in your next relationship.

You really need to let go off the idea of that person being your ex if you want to build something new together. Both of you need to understand the complications and the consequences of taking such a step. This would require much more an understanding than probably it was required when you were a couple.

It is not very hard, but it is not that easy as well. The sole principle that you would need to follow is to move past the past. When do you know that you have been successful? Simple, when somebody asks you about your ex your answer will NOT begin with the words “My ex…” but instead will begin with the words “My friend…”

Source: Kanika Sharma

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